I remember,I remember.....

(I started this poem kind of thing some days behind when i actually dint finish it but wrote the major part of it and completed it on the day before my EMTL final exam of 2-2...but never had the courage to let this out in open for whatsoever reasons....Today i let it out open because ive completely lost hope on something n feel that atleast let me be appreciated or remembered for my skill in writing if not for the skill which i expect to be remembered for ...a rather heartfelt lively one towards an oppo sex!)

I remember I remember,

The after effects of my ever prevailing over confidence,

The days I were sitting all alone,fully serious,totally down

Because of the bitter experiences of my then recent past,

Concentrating on subject,for the thing I wanted the most badly,

My disappeared love towards academics

And stability which I was always known for…….

I remember I remember,

The underlying sorrow n reason for getting serious about it,

nd the circumstances which made me to immediately take charge,

Which made me neither to utter a word during classes,

Nor to turn my head towards anything except the board,

My engineering mates were totally dumbstruck,

Because this was not which I was then known for……

I remember I remember,

The positive energies that were generated at that time,

The improved concentration levels to a ever high,

The day when I also started writing first post on my blog,

As a token of regard for what life thought me through practicality,

I was learning,learning and always in the learning process,

Regaining the qualities which my childhood was ever known for…

I remember I remember,

This drastic and unexpected transformation in me,

Which some more days kept under practice would work wonders,

Uff!Then came the distraction,the attraction,the infactuation,

The confusion,the affection or don’t know what they call that??

Slowly n steadily at snail’s pace,appearing temptingly beautiful,

Now I dint know what was she upto…..

I remember I remember,

What feel brought us closer?what made us happy?n

Who initiated out our internet chat n talk on phone?n

Who complained whom for not sparing time in college?n

Who uttered words that they din’t bother what the world thinks?

Who had the intent to spare time n presence willingly wth whom?

Now it was confusing what was she upto……..

I remember I remember,

Who’s smile n presence itself in class left me mesmerized,

Which phone call was I always excitedly waiting for,

How I would be on cloud9 with a mere hi or bye from her too,

What made me always check my messages on orkut and yahoo,

Her compliment to me having potential to become a gud writer,

Nw I dint understand what my excitement and her intent was upto..

I remember I remember,

Our first long walk towards the basketball court,

Our first long chat (a lecture as she calls) in the library,

Our first memorable O***** to watch the hockey flick,

Her complaints when i even talked slightly against her intent when i was down,

Her clues given indirectly that I hold a special place for her,

Now it was almost clear to both of us what were we upto…

I remember remember,

The day which lead to the bloody twist,

The reason for it being my stupid act,

Maybe it was early or not presented properly,

Or on the other side I felt she gave me pre meditated answers,

But all in all an accelerating force of attraction went to do a stoppie

Now I was confusingly confused what she was upto…...

I remember I remember,

Those long days which we dint talk to each other,

Setting our egos to a ever high,

She was angry in beginning , but again the same

Anxiety and curiosity and jealousy for both of us as ever prevailed,

When time again decided to break our long silence,

Now we were happy n not even bothered where were we upto…

I remember I remember,

How life always acts as a simple on-off switch,

Complementing the emotions of happiness n sorrow,

The same happened to me but more of the latter,

Because of our reasonless and frequent quarrels and egos

And misunderstandings and angers and fears and public talks,

Now dint know where we were leading to……..

I remember I remember,

My erratic position after all this real life drama happened,

Was I happy?was I sad?Was I studying?was I playing?

Was I relieved?was I confused?was I struck?whats my luck?

What do her inconsistent words n contradicting actions to it mean?

All the assertions I have for her when will they be cleared?

Maybe only then will I know where my path leads to…..

U remember U remember,

That its only u who can clear my worries due,

But I wait around eating a chocolate ice cream this summer,

With my head inclined at 45 deg towards the red hot sun,

Wearing a lovely orange cap n a expecting heart with a smily on it,

So that I’m always thinking about you n shall be happy ever after,

Now this might tell u where I want you to make me lead to……..

We remember we remember,that

For all my cousins this drama is just my mere dream in sleep,;)

For all my friends this is my real life experience,

For all children just a fantasy type story,n

For all adults the lesson what they take and learn from it,

But the whole poem is dedicated and is for my lovely dear,

Projecting candidly my life n love with her without any fear….[:)]

Yours ever lovingly,

Written,composed and editied by

akil .?!

Note:

A dot mark resembles my past;

The stability in my life before she entered .

A question mark resembles my present;

Don’t know where do I lead to and what I’m doing n I’m upto?

An exclamation mark reveals my hope for the future;

An heartfelt expectation for an happy ending!