hmmm...Randomness at its best!!!

This post is as old as maybe 1 year back......Ashwin so sorry mann,u dint like this post at all the day you read it???when i put this on my blog too and asked you to see and tell whether i retrieve it or not......when u said its not showing what you feel at all??whether you are happy or sad?nothing at all......but today when i was trying to edit some of my pending posts or update the drafts which were pending,i happened to see this n felt its atmost worth in showing the randomness of mind and also this kind of post will help me n many in resolving how to tackle the idleness and wanderiness and depression of mind....


hmmm.....this word has become more prominent in my usage when i chat online these days which was not the case before.....the very fact i used to enjoy talking to different kinds of people and not so close kind also makes me feel bored now.....more of the thinking process is going on within me........this might be my smallest and the wierdest kind of a blog post till now or maybe even when i consider my future posts too .......i know i know that even there might be grammatical errors or even blunders in the language i'm using now in the post...because i myself can feel it,the sense of uncomfortableness and the very low in my self confidence......u ask me the reason omg!i dont think i will ever be able to reveal it for what my present thought process is going onn which makes me check almost any action i do or proceed to......u might always wonder while reading this (if u do so)that when i understand the fact for myself that words are being short for me to write what i want to or i'm unable to write something to express what i want to why am i doing it........or why don't i just look back for what ive written recheck it and edit ......but sorry friends i dont believe in editing at all cos it removes the heart n essence n mood n emotion n content of what u want people to understand from the post.......uffffff! enuff of the shit what ive written now .......hmmmm what to do cant help it to any better because i write on the basis of my internal feelings n thoughts and build on it but my thought process n internal feel itself are so scrambled n disturbed .......hence is the result of a whole noisy kind of write up......which might be a use of nuthin to the readers but just the hope that i might get relieved writing it out ........


I end up with some of the lines which i feel to share out with u all :

i feel at this instant of time that life comprises of nuthin more than complimenting emotions every now n then and ur way of respecting and learning from each of them .......but i just wonder for myself when people say life gets great n exciting when u learn from your past mistakes.........but i just want to ask u all at this instant of time that what would ull call me then even though i realise the importance of learning from my mistakes.....i refuse to do so and do the same mistakes all again???????........understanding ability about a particular situation or problem or mistake is very fine and by far advanced than what required .........but if execution ability is what really lacks .....then how come ....what shall happen .....what will be the outcome .........will that person only realise when the outcome will come standing tall n cruelly in front of his eyes.......but if something like that happens what will be the use of it .........what will he be able to do after his hand have been burnt out in fire ..............hmmm all through while i write this it makes me again think one of my scrambled thought that why am i getting so deep into it ......its just because of my bad mood i'm thinking too much n makes me recall that edison failed or committed mistakes more than 100 times on the same bulb before succesfully inventing the incandescent bulb ........but again a scrambled thought arises does that mean that when edison could do it after commiting the same mistake 100 times why cant we.............but these all things merely are said to only motivate and create a spark of thought in you to get better ..........but what will be the cure or solution to a person who understands all this stuff n importance but execution ability of them is truely fallen to nil in recent days.............


what the fuck have i written???????????????but still i make out from all of this is when we r happy everything seems bright n colourful n favourable n nice n simple to us ...but when we r sad and depressed everything looks too gloomy n boring n complicated n longggggg..........n being depressed makes u only sink n sink n sink in depression n nothing else...so what next????another scrambled thought arives into my mind after just stopping for a while typing the above stuff that come on akil dont get too depressed dont think this too much ......"even a stopped clock shows the right time twice a day"...and tries to make me motivated but does that mean that i dont need to get worried becoming a stopped clock and dont i need to think at all or do something so that again i dont become a stopped clock ....or just take it as it goes ......and if it happens like that again ill have the motivationg same dialogue trying to show me the right hour only twice when it has to actually show me the right hour 24 times.....hmmmm now whats the solution????i wonder n wonder n still keep wondering n thinking n scratching my head but again get a thought which my close friend always says ...the problem with u is u think too much ..."dont think too much raa...cos thinking is just a waste of time"........hmmmm n hmmmm n hmmmm words end .......thoughts end ..........movies end......day ends..........but what about my scrambled thoughts as of now .........and ur terrible n stinking feel of what ive written in this post of my blog?????????

do comment on the post....

Randomness personified,
!-\ !< i !