An unforgettable day........... lead to relishing memories!

It was the 28 th of november when it was already 28 days since i was in ayyappa maala for the first time......exactly at 5:00 a.m. in the morning me and my cosuin who was in the maala too entered into the bolaram ayyappa swami temple......our intent was to see the ganapathy homam taking place there as it was suggested to me by some other swami that when u take the maala for the first time[i.e known as kanna swami]do visit some ganapathy homams ani ........so we had planned it that early .........and the night before it i was so excited or maybe even puzzled or maybe both that i am going to go to the temple as early as 5:00 in themorning which as far as i can recollect might have been years since have done so............and in the matter of fact of it couldnt sleep till 1:45 in the night .........but still woke up to the first beep of my alarm on cell phone at 4:30...........dont know but maybe dint sleep at all...........

Getting back to the scene of the temple......at 5:00 when we entered the temple there were only about 15 to 20 swamis inside the temple[i.e.the same kind of people who wore maalas and were in deeksha for 41 days or maybe some fixed number of days if not those many].......and me n my cousin did the pradakshinas to all the different forms of gods present in the temple along with ayyappa swami..........it took about half hour and then we sat at ganapathy homam............we sat there for about just 10 minutes observing in anxiety the whole procedures .......but after that somehow both got saturated about watching it and i moved on to the main ayyappa temple just as my cousin suggested shall we move there and watch the pooja going on there...........then came my first shock or rather would say that first exciting scene of the morning......it just wasnt even 5 minutes since we had come and coincidentally the abhishekham of lord ayyappa started........i felt very fortunate and happy for myself because we dint expect to attend it or were for it .....but co incidentally we were destined to watch even lord ayyappa being treated with a wholesome of ghee,honey,rose water,sandal wood,milk and basmam.........and that scene was so dream to watch that it still pinches my eyes whenever i think about it and fills my heart with full of joy and happiness and mirth and satisfaction ....just for those moments i felt that there couldnt be any more beautiful scene than this........the way the ghee and honey and milk descended slowly in wholesome amounts of quantity over the body of lord ayyappa was a dream to watch...........it was as if like the gush of water when it flows through minor gaps in a forest ...when it starts offff ....the slow movement and then catching the speed and descending slowly with acceleration...........its almost like i am wordless to express the scene ............it was so exciting for me to watch it that .....me writing in this blog may seem the 11th or 12th time i am informing the same scene about .........it ended soon and overall i was much more happy becos i felt we were lucky enough to also see all these procedures so closely and lord ayyappa getting dressed up,decorated with flowers,looking absolutely infinitely energetic after lighting the deepams ......all this right from the start of bathing.........

Then came the next, what i call is the 2nd exciting scene of the day .....it was 7:00 a.m in the morning when we came out me, my cousin and also my childhood friend who was in the maala too and joined us at 6:15 in the temple ..........just to discover that the so called 15 swamis at 5:00 a.m. got transformed into nearly about 1500 swamis in number by 7:00 a.m . believe me it is true..........i was dumbstruck and shocked looking at the scene and also to look at the crowd building just in a matter of half an hour from 6:30 to 7:00......felt that just the belief on something could drive thousands of hearts........this drastic scene in just about two hours and watching the whole pooja's procedures right from the morning made me feel that i couldnt ask anyone for any more beauty to be seen by my eyes and to be felt by the heart........ it was just as awesome , marvellous , mindblowing , exciting , shocking of a feel , all felt inside myself with so much intensity i can tell u .................that i just discovered myself and am waking up right at 5 a.m yesterday and infact 4a.m. today morning just becos that beautiful scene happening that early in the morning somehow ..........makes me feel that why not have another scene like that .....which dint happen again till now.........but completing my pooja at home early all these days.............what makes me think the most too is the fact that i was never this religious too,i never visited temples a lot,i never got impressed by and pleasure and happiness from anything as much as i've got from those two incidents.......i rather feel that some how maybe i will get transformed into becoming much more religious as an after effect of it.......which i dont worry much about becos i will take it as a matter of a fact as it comes........but one thing is for sure is that it revived me of all my childhood memories and stories listening to which i have grown up listening to my grandfather and mom..........and also the fact that it brought enormous amount of energies and confidence in myslef...........what was also much more exciting and the fact which brought the icing and the cherry on this cake was ........that later when we were returning to home on bike we discovered coincidentally that it was wednesday ...........the holy day of lord ayyappa according to hindu mythology...........so this was the third scene which totally made up the day to be infinitely exciting ........."when an infant comes newly to this world the excitation he shows in his first cry .....or even the mothers expression to that cry"............i felt as excited as that..............it recalled me of my golden childhood..........

All throughout my childhood i grew up attending bhajans and temples and chanting many mantras as my granfather was very religious...and was my mentor too throughout my childhood........it revived me of the days when i was maybe only about an age between 7 to 10 years where i used to go to a bhajan samajh in my colony just behind my home .....and as early as in this age would make people recite bhajans.......and i was given the mike to initiate it at times looking at my anxiety towards bhajan.......i still remember the day when it was a sunday....and every sunday before this bhajan samajh of lord krishna got tied up with ISKCON,they used to take out a small procession with about 25 to 30 people as early as 6:00 in the morning chanting the" hare rama hare krishna" sloka and dancing away to glory with the dolak and the thaalams and clapping of hands .............and i was in sleep and got up listening to it and ran out to my entrance gate to watch it........looking at my enthusiasm though they knew that i dint still bathe and normally people doing pooja or bhajan dont touch those who still dint have a shower .....but put me over his shoulders.........wow it still pinches my eyes.......that enthusiasm and excitement with which i was roaming like that in that position itself for almost a lane dancing away to glory and looking at my mom grand father smiling away to glory.............oh my god wow those were the best days of my life.............it also revived me to the story of origin of my name which my mom used to tell always.....akil from the names of lord ayyapa,and karthik from the names of subhramanya swamy.......and was happy that at last after 19 years i came nearer to the lord which my name was all about ......atleast if not for the religious aspect.......for the fact what my name meant too........[:)]

The two moments which occured on the 28th,coming back to them, revived me of these kind of cherishing moments of my childhood...and it was no less than in similar excitement as ive described ........and the feel was no less similar to that of the whining school boy two days back too............two days down the lane after that incident some assertions come to my mind ...................why did i who was so religous in my childhood got transformed into being this lite about god and his existence as i got older and older????????why would actually someone transform that much????was it co incidence????or was it because u feel great just because u have grwon up and u feel that u need to believe in urself and have confidence in ur self .....and say to urself those who completely believe in themselves dont believe in god????or becos uve got two horns and a tail and u feel great about urself?????but rather forget the fact that with those extra accessories u have transformed into an animal...............

One thing is for sure as a gist of all my assertions what ive made out of all this is that normally there are broadly two kinds of ways in which children are brought up........with due respect and consideration given with same priority given to both of them......i would like to say that they are those who believe in god and religious matters right from childhood and those who dont believe in god and religious matters............the reason why the first one get transformed into second as they grow up is............the second category just as they dont believe much in god ..............the kind of statements they make though are not harsh,seem to impress at first instance.....like ive said above.........those who completely believe in themselves dont believe in god.....if u can do hard work then there is no need for any external source required for ur success........i believe in myself i would rather say,than believing in god...etc etc etc...........and the first ones feel that yeah they are true.......i dont say they are not true.....but true in their perspective.....i would rather say that "There is nothing right and wrong in this world, there is only the perspective and the way you believe and look at it.....its like two sides of a coin,the head and a tail,head favours one while tail favours the other"what i would say regarding all this is...........[again putting up the fact that i have myself experienced both the kinds ...and dont deny the fact that have almost got transformed into the second category in recent years.......but this maala brought the matter to re-think where i stand in these matters........although dont know in which one i fall into or dont even bother to think about it and take it as it comes]...........that is there god or there aint any god???do u believe in god or do u not?????does god really exist or not?????this is not the matter of discussion,keep it all aside ....but the matter of discussion is just as simple as this ........just the belief that there is god and there is some super natural power who can fulfill our wishes and is with us in our tough times .......that is enough and creates confidence in you and gives you a lil sort of motivation that there are going to be happy times after the sad times.........is just enough to drive you through and change the aspect of the way u look at life.....................


I would end it up saying that though i dont know which category i fall into although........maybe a mixture of both i feel............that if u feel that you will not need that extra motivating factor throughout your life?????......and can motivate yourself or by some other idol of urs like a sports star or a historian etc etc etc..........then well and gud carry on .........its for u to decide...???
1.)if ur answer is no then switch over to the first category i am telling u it really helps...........

2.)if your answer is yes then too cool,and ive got a word for u too,as swami vivekananda rightly says......"According to ancient mythology,he is an athiest who does not believe in god,but according to modern mythology he is an athiest who does not believe in himself"but here too i would just like to make one controversial statement ......can we always believe in ourselves even in tough times and go on with life without an external factor driving us through????or if not that then the idol which we've chosen to look upto and get motivated will he motivate u as strongly as the motivating factor in the first category does all the time????????...........

3.)if ur answer is partly both then maybe most probably u fall into my category and i would say......get the balance always going between both the above facts............orelse u will get into wrong tracks in life.......



With due respects to everyone and each and every category i leave it up to the reader to what they take from it............i just thought to express my unforgettable day .........but that unforgettable day becomes much more precious to me now because it also makes me understand the fact that it lead me to such a worthwhile discussion i would rather say than a writet up on my blog...........the argument and topic and discussion on god and religion never ends......that infinite it is..........but just gave it a trial and believe me never thought at the start of the write up that will get into this sort of matter.......just wanted to express my feel about that unforgettable day but infact the flow of thoughts took me over to my childhood and also into religious discussion.....after all thats what human flow is all about.....mightier than the water flow itself i feel..................

Thanking you for listening to me![:)]

Slightly excited and sorry if it was too religious:-
akil karthik[:)]


kindly post your comments about the write up............

Interrogative?????????maybe yes but yet illusive n elated AKIL in his redefined way ! :)

This write up is exremely personal to me not in the sense of secrecy to be maintained or its content but is infact my heart and mindset in which the last week of my mirtful ride was all about.........and i share it becos i would like to just bring it to the notice of my dear ones how am i feeling about as of now.......so that they can guide me if i am wrong somewhere,and it dopesnt matter to me if u feel that i was childish or foolish in writing all this crap and if u think it is crap yeah it isbut this crap too matters for me very much,so do kindly respect it and i will feel that u respect me if u can respect this talk,that important this is for me,as this process goes on once in a while here and there for me and i dont know what to do at these times?????.........lets start off



*************** I ME MYSELF ***************

"PEOPLE SAY ONE BIG MISTAKE AND YOU ARE OUT BUT I SAY ONE BIG MISTAKE AND YOU
ARE IN",

becos it is the only way through which you can learn a lot for ur future about the reality of life even though temporarily you suffer for your mistake..........as SARKAR says "logon ko hamesha paas main aane waali kushi se jyaada dhoor main aane waali nuksaan ke baare main sochna chaahiye",ussi tharaa paas main aane vaali katinaayi se jyaada agar tumhe dhoor main aane waali balaayi ke baare mein sochna chathe ho tho bas dont worry about mistakes becos mistakes are inevitable and we are after all humans..........thats the gist of what ive learnt recently.........people laugh at me when i share personally at times what ive wrote below.....but i cant help it and i dont care at people's laughter when i know that what all ive shared is true ......cos that kind of thought process is going on in my mind.......

hmmmm.......am i happy?? am i sad??am i worried??am i relieved??am i serious??am i joking??am i studying??am i playing??am i confused??am i not??or maybe what am i all about?? who am i ??what do i think of myself??why am i becoming suddenly so down at times these days??why am i getting instantaneuos energy levels even for silly reasons??why have i become so depressive at times??am i true to myself??did i do something foolish or rubbish??did i do something great??huhhh enuf for now..........i dont know what i am doing???....but these are the kinds of assertions that were coming to my mind a week ago......dont know whether it is right to think that much at this instant of life........dont know whether i am right in doing so or not......but still have resolved myself after a voracious thought process which went for about a week and am happy now becos i somehow feel that,the so called akil who was a lil erratic thinking about all these crap has somehow got all his confidence levels back and is back to the same energy levels and the fuel for which he is known for........coming to the above interrogatives...... cant answer to all the above questions but the first question will be addressed for sure.... very happy for myself and my conscience and very excited too....all just becos of two drastic reasons in just a small interval of time .....being true to my owns conscience and watching the best movie for youth till date HAPPY DAYS..........so these two reasons drive away all my above interrogative sentences......becos my happiness and confidence after those two events drive them all off.....[:)]and make me think not about anything or get worried about nothing and lead life to its everything......even though there are some hurdles and back slidings here and there.....but am thoroughly enjoying it as of now becos somehow feel that till now i knew only about the farex and cerelac about the reality of life but now in the lane and process of maybe not completely knowing but in process of knowing the beers and wiskys and champghanes of life......thats it about my mindset as of now.............................

one last word of thought.....

Bas log kehthe they ek zamaane main ke pyaar ke baare main jaanna chathe ho tho laila aur majnu ko dekho ya devdas aur paro ko dekho ya romeo aur juliet ko dekho ya titanic movie ko dekho lekin bas main kehtha hoon ki iss zamaane main pyaar ke baare main samajnaa chahthe ho tho HAPPYDAYS main chandu aur madhu ko dekho........that realistic it is![:)].........go and watch happy days to see yourself and know what college life is all about a suggestion to all my fellow mates in engineering and a request to bloody people who dont know how to completely live it and live it just like they do it in intermediate.......and i bet you dont know how were the days for you teill now in your college but in future after watching it you will transform your days in front into happy days for sure..................

sorry if u ever felt that why was i so intense at the beginning as if there is a serious problem i am suffering from and i need to get out of it and what is that which troubles me,ull were unable to figure it out...........my main worry or rather would say that my main concern for me in this frame of my mind is why do i get these many questions to be asked for myself????why am i so assertive???is it right to think so much??or what shall i do to stop doing it???......but one thing is for sure .........those times when i get these kinds of thoughts ........oh my god let me tell u feel like doing nothing except to just do some serious thinking ..........but although at the end of its thought process learn a lot from it............thanking yu for sparing ur time and reading me or rather would say listening to me becos ive spoken my hjeart and mindset out...........[:)]

"LIFE AINT ALL SUNSHINES AND RAINBOWS, ITS A ROUGH AND A VERY MEAN PLACE AND IT DOESNT MATTER NOT HOW HARD YOU HIT IN LIFE BUT WHAT MATTERS IS YOUR ABILITY TO STAND ERECT EVEN AFTER GETTING HIT HARD BY LIFE"

and me in a trial of just doing that....so lets see what happens ..... ??

Yours truely and heartfully:- A redefined AKIL[:)]

kindly post ur comments or rather would say suggestions to me about my write up.....

****A real life experience****

Many a times U may toss a coin to decide what ur next preceedings r in life a 100 times at different instances and 99 times it may show a head and u love and enjoy it the most because u just feel ur lucky n on the top of the world cos u get what u desire always.......but the one other time when its a tail u get a lil dissapointed at the beggining but even though u dont love it u go in accordance to it as u believed in that process of whats next? in ur life from many a days .........

It is synonymous to an instance as almost u r at a junction in life where two roads diverge in ur yellow wood n dont understand which road to go through but when u decide by some means or the other u just get into one of them,n rather never think about the other one but instead if u brood over n dissapoint urself that the other road might have been better for u....... Then good heavens lord!u r not only bullying around ur own self confidence but also r not well prepared to be an optimist and look at the positive aspect n angle of a matter in life.......n instead to play safe n keep ur so called self respect high [which u dont accept that u failed becos u worked less every time or was never into it but got struck this time] blame ur LUCK......

On similar lines let me tell u that just because u feel that u r unlucky as it was not a head and dint get what u desire? one single time doesnt make any sense in life no matter who u are?because it just means that all these days u were successful and met ur goal even though u worked very less just because u got used to some bloody addictive luck n u want it to support in ur life always but it wont........ "LUCK shall always be a supplement in ur life to achieve success easily but it should never become a substitute for achieving it,the day it always becomes a part of ur process in achieving success,let me tell u no matter how big a puhson u r ur downfall will start exponentially within no time even though u have increased it all throughout ur life linearly with a very high slope ..........just becos luck doesnt favour u always just as the coin didn't one bloody time"but instead the better way to look at it is that u need to always accept that it was ur destiny after getting into it and give ur 100% into it and should enjoy it by giving non distorted complete energy levels towards ur goal in the path which has has been destined to u by some super power n cant help it....................

This is what i feel life is all about,never look back and compare how ur life would have been if u were in some other stream;that’s the beginning of ur long journey n ur way of looking itself at the start only determines whether u r a pessimist or an optimist, cos it gives u absolutely nothing if u look at it in a pessimist way believe me............Be ready for anything in life n face it challengingly because u don’t live life always by getting what u desire but the way of leading it is loving whatever u get,as that’s what life is all about “A roller coaster ride” From the life story of A.P.J. Abdul kallam , ive known that he always dreamt n aspired to become an air pilot but became an aircraft designer unfortunately as he was not destined to fly in air but rather to design aircrafts but there goes the result “THE FATHER OF INDIAN MISSILES”,N then the honourable president of INDIA ,just a practical instance to show u all that he went so high becos even though he dint get what he desired,achieved a lot cos he accepted his destined path n worked for it with high spirits…....thats it……n even though if u feel disappointed for not getting what u desire be an optimist there too by thinking that u learn more at these testing times,” Even a stopped clock shows the correct time twice in a day”........

“THE ONLY WAY TO LEAD LIFE IS TO LOOK AT ALL OPPORTUNITIES n PROBLEMS too WHICH U FACE OPTIMISTICALLY”..........


Just as when the water flow is so high though the person riding the boat intends to go in the direction of his destination but the reality is that he is forced to go in the direction of the flow of tides and the mighty sea waves,the same is relevant to human flow too when the flow of thoughts is so intense what matters is not how ur write up is going to be like but expressing ur thoughts which u get in that flow is what is all important.........same happened with me too this above writing........

!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!![:)]


Slightly excited n sorry if it was too
philosophical or stupid[rather be optimistic]:-
AKIL[:)]

please kindly leave your comments truefully[:)]